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It’s Tuesday and I’m right here to unravel your whole life’s issues.
As at all times, you’ll be able to ship your nameless mailbag inquiries to claytravis@gmail.com, anonymity assured. Request proper up prime right here, how about some enjoyable questions? We have been overloaded of late with tremendous severe questions. That’s nice, I’m pleased to choose the perfect questions to unravel, however, man, there have been a tricky of great ones lately. Let’s have some enjoyable and frivolity again as we prepare for soccer season to return.
Okay, right here we go:
“I’m an officer deployed to the Middle East proper now. I used to be a senior in highschool when 9/11 occurred. I watched the towers come down from the large display television in our library.
We had been at conflict in Afghanistan for my whole navy profession, and we’ve spent extra of my life at conflict there than not.
I used to be lucky to by no means deploy there, and my family and friends who did have all come house alive and bodily intact, thank God.
But we sat in our eating facility (DFAC) on Sunday and we watched in actual time because the Taliban overran Kabul, one thing we had been informed couldn’t even start to occur for at the very least 90 days. We’d been betting it may occur someday round Christmas, relying on how the Taliban handled the ‘fighting season’; now there isn’t even a rustic to ‘hand off’ subsequent month on 9/11. It’s mainly ‘Last man out of Afghanistan, please turn off the lights’.
More than half of the folks I’m with deployed and/or fought in Afghanistan, a lot of them greater than as soon as. Almost all of us know somebody that didn’t come again. To say it’s been a tough 72 hours is an understatement. It’s like somebody ran over your canine and your grandma died all on the identical day. Lots of individuals simply have a vacant look of their eyes. We’re all professionals and can preserve doing our job after all, however a number of persons are taking lengthy appears within the mirror and asking laborious questions (particularly the youthful troopers, a few of whom have actually by no means been alive at a time after we weren’t at conflict in Afghanistan).
If you had been standing in entrance of a gaggle of Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen (and ladies), a few of whom fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, a few of whom are contemporary out of Basic Training at their first responsibility station; some of their 50s, some not even 20 but, what would you say about what the world watched this weekend? What would you say concerning the final 20 years that we’ve been preventing for positive factors that had been mainly erased in much less time than it takes for us to get a bundle from house within the mail?
Please don’t use my title, rank, place, or group for apparent causes.”
First, thanks on your service over the previous twenty years, and second I might say you’re in an extremely tough place right here, not simply given the scenario in Afghanistan itself, however given the big variety of views from the women and men serving beneath your command. Some of those troopers see you as a dad, others see you as a brother, some may even see you as their son. No one assertion goes to completely tackle all of them or all of their considerations.
Based in your expertise, much more about how you can discuss to your troopers than I ever will. But with that in thoughts, I might start my feedback by saying troopers win wars, fits lose wars. I might make it clear that every one the troopers who served in Afghanistan, each residing and lifeless, did their jobs and served their nation with distinction. Your troopers must know they did nothing improper. In truth, they succeeded. This was a United States political resolution to withdraw from Afghanistan, not a failed mission by any troopers. This was political, nothing extra, nothing much less.
Given how lengthy we’ve been in Afghanistan, a lot of your troopers seemingly aren’t acquainted with the explanations we went there within the first place. So I’d give a quick tutorial on our mission there. Our preliminary mission, laborious as it’s to recollect, was to crush Al Qaida after 9/11 and to make sure terrorists had been by no means ready to make use of Afghanistan as a staging floor to assault America once more. I feel it’s value rehashing that historical past lesson for all of the troops. For twenty years, we did that and roughly a decade in the past we additionally tracked down and killed Osama bin Laden, which, on reflection, ought to have most likely been the time for us to declare victory and exit the nation.
It’s seemingly an analogous finish outcome would have occurred, however narratively we’d have been capable of exit with a declared victory and honor versus this disorganized mess of a retreat we’re all seeing now. But even in that disorganized political retreat, have you learnt who the heroes are? The troopers being referred to as in to make sure that American residents and our allies are capable of depart safely.
And then I might shut by saying one thing like this: “Ultimately, politicians, whether or not you’re a Republican, Democrat, or an impartial, usually disappoint you as a result of most of them don’t have the identical honor, integrity, and self-discipline that you just and your fellow troopers do. They don’t reside on the sting of perpetual conflict, they don’t know the struggles and challenges that you just all do, they usually typically don’t know what it’s wish to reside and die on your nation in a overseas land. Politicians will ultimately disappoint you, however the purpose I’m a lifelong soldier is as a result of we’re the alternative of politicians. We by no means disappoint our brothers and sisters in arms. We by no means reduce and run. We’re at all times right here for each other, and we’re at all times right here to assist and shield the courageous and noble throughout the nation and around the globe.
And I’ll at all times be right here for all of you too.
So if you wish to come and discuss to me concerning the scenario in Afghanistan, my door is at all times open, however I would like you to know that I’ve by no means been prouder of all of you, and all of our fellow troopers, than I’m proper now. And I’m rattling proud to be your commanding officer. Thank you for all you do on your nation.”
Good luck and thanks.
“I’m 31, married, with two children and reside in Texas, however I’m from Kentucky and was raised as an solely little one. My father handed away final 12 months (on my thirtieth birthday no much less) at age 61 abruptly. He and my mom (who each lived in Kentucky) had been foster mother and father and adopted a boy and a woman (they’re biologically brother and sister) about 6 years in the past.
My mom hasn’t dealt with my dad passing nicely. In October of 2020 I drove again to Kentucky and introduced my brother (10) and sister (8) to reside with me. My brother particularly says Mom was throwing staplers at him and hit him on the top with a brush stick so I got here and obtained them so she may get assist. She went to remedy and in May of this 12 months offered the Kentucky home and moved down right here with us in Texas.
Since transferring in although it’s clear she’s not wholesome. She’s imply to all the children (my very own two children and my brother and sister) and the children are afraid of her. I’ve talked to her about her tone however she mentioned she’s ‘old school.’ Last week she tried to go after my brother and pushed my spouse to get to him. I obtained her a lodge room as a result of placing her palms on my spouse was a step too far for me. This just isn’t the primary time she has had an episode however it’s the first time I’ve seen her go after somebody. Usually it’s simply verbal insults about being a nasty son principally geared toward me and my brother however she has threatened to strangle my brother a number of occasions. She after all says she would by no means harm him as soon as she’s calmed down however I’m undecided the ten 12 months outdated is aware of that.
My query is what’s the proper factor to do right here? I really like my mom, she wasn’t the best Mom and I don’t have the nice and cozy fuzzy emotions others do however I do need her to be pleased. I simply don’t suppose it’s honest to the children to have somebody who’s so unstable and has now tried to go after considered one of them. I do know she’s grieving however so are my brother and sister and already coping with the trauma of being adopted. My spouse has had sufficient however I’m additionally undecided what my choices are right here apart from taking my very own mom to courtroom which…..sucks.
Advice?”
If your mother is being bodily violent with younger kids, each your step-brother and step-sister and your personal kids, you’ll be able to’t preserve her in your home and permit her to mother or father these children, particularly not unsupervised.
You simply can’t.
You’re already doing greater than I feel might be fairly anticipated for any son to do. You’ve taken in your mother and father’ fostering tasks and also you’ve moved your mother into your personal house. I’m not an skilled in foster parenting or the legal guidelines surrounding it, however for those who genuinely care concerning the two children your mother and father adopted, which evidently you do, I’d search custody of them your self. Given the truth that your father died, there’s a really sturdy argument that you just and your spouse, who’re a lot youthful and have already got children of your personal, are a a lot better fostering possibility than your mother by herself.
I don’t imagine this could be a really difficult authorized case, however I’d encourage you to seek the advice of somebody with a household regulation background in Texas to substantiate this. Already, I’d suppose you will have achieved an honest quantity of labor to be permitted to maneuver these two foster children from Kentucky to Texas so there needs to be an honest observe report at this level of your stability for these children.
This means the dialog you’d must have along with your mother is much less of a authorized difficulty and extra of a private one. She’s behaving in an unacceptable manner round your children and her adopted children. And it doesn’t sound like this example is tenable both on your spouse otherwise you.
And it shouldn’t be.
You have to inform your mother that you just want her to get nicely, possibly use your dad’s dying as a problem she is dealing with, earlier than you’ll be able to permit her to mother or father these children and reside in your house. If you’ll be able to afford to take action, discovering her a small house or in-law’s quarters within the space could be compromise within the quick time period.
“I work for a midwest-based building firm in an workplace of about 40 folks. Routinely the corporate asks staff to fly a number of occasions a month for initiatives we’ve got throughout the nation. There are plenty of people who lately have new child kids as nicely.
We had been scheduled to have our annual firm golf outing on Friday, the place everybody splits into teams of 4/5 and infrequently occasions we’ve got an afterparty at somebody’s home. Management cancelled the golf outing on quick discover (Wednesday) citing unfold of the Delta variant as the priority.
I may perceive cancelling the indoors gathering after golf, however to me it makes little sense to cancel the golf portion the place everybody can be exterior and restricted to small teams. Other staff had been extremely discouraged after working laborious throughout a possible report 12 months, particularly contemplating they’re requested to place themselves in danger touring/flying regularly.
How can corporations stability holding staff secure however on the similar time sponsor team-building and incentives? Could permitting a return to office normalcy create a aggressive benefit over companies that would favor to maintain everybody at house with little interplay?”
I perceive it’s enjoyable to golf on an everyday work day along with your co-workers, however for those who actually wish to golf collectively — or hang around after {golfing} — why does it have to be managed by the corporate to occur? Couldn’t particular person staff simply schedule their very own golf occasion and after social gathering?
From the corporate’s perspective, this looks like a straightforward difficulty to revolve: Just give everybody Friday off and let folks select how they spend their time on that day. An additional time off, particularly main right into a weekend, is perhaps extra well-liked than a piece golf occasion could be anyway. This manner, the individuals who wish to golf with their work buddies can do it after which you may also have an after social gathering at somebody’s home. It simply feels right here, at the very least to me, such as you’re too reliant in your firm’s resolution to impression your enjoyable.
Do I feel it is smart to cancel an outside firm golf occasion due to COVID? No. But am I shocked an organization would elect to take action proper now? Not in any respect.
Ultimately if you wish to hang around with work buddies throughout this COVID mess, at most locations of labor, you’re going to must take the lead versus the corporate.
“Obesity is unhealthy. Full Stop.
Body positivity has hijacked well being within the United States. We’re in the course of a pandemic the place weight problems is a big comorbidity for many who get COVID-19 and we’re providing donuts and french fries and beer to coerce folks to get the jab. Everyone is worthy of affection and never all wholesome physique varieties are ‘small’ however we have to cease accepting the lie that overweight persons are wholesome. Medical docs want to have the ability to counsel those that want it with out being accused of malpractice or ‘fat shaming.’
Why is that this controversial?”
Because something that might probably harm somebody’s emotions is now thought of unacceptable.
And calling consideration to somebody’s weight problems, at the very least sometimes, makes folks really feel dangerous and we’re extra involved with emotions on this nation than we’re well being.
Look, it stinks to be chubby or fats. I used to be a chubby child from the age of about 11 to 14, roughly fifth grade by way of seventh or eighth grade. Then I hit puberty and have become the proper Adonis you see at this time.
Back then, some folks would decide on you for being chubby or fats. That was frequent in colleges. And at the very least for me, it helped to encourage me to eat more healthy. I didn’t wish to be chubby or fats. Having your emotions harm was a motivator for me to assist get in higher form.
Because right here’s the deal, all of us have a considerable quantity of management over what we weigh. And there’s energy that is available in realizing you’ll be able to management what you weigh. I imagine in private duty. Each of us has the power to regulate the choices we make. To me, that’s much more highly effective than the detrimental emotions which may come up over being obese.
Instead of mandating masks final 12 months, we should always have mandated train. Getting in form would have been the only neatest thing any of us may have achieved to assist fight COVID for all of 2020. What did the federal government inform us to do as a substitute? Go house and shelter in place. They shut down mountain climbing trails and the seaside. They took down basketball rims in public parks. They stuffed in skate parks with sand in California. They informed us to remain inside, the place we now know COVID spreads extra effectively than it does outside.
I imply, all of this was pure insanity. We did the precise reverse of just about the whole lot we should always have achieved.
That’s what’s really shameful.
“Hey Clay, my family was supposed to head down to Florida for my cousin’s bar mitzvah later this month, but they’re all cancelling because of rising cases in Florida. Most of us live in the northeast where lockdowns were happening a lot, and we’re all vaccinated, so I don’t see any reason to why they’re scared of Florida like they’re going to die by stepping foot into the state (though what do you expect when you live in a family of coronabros?) If you were in my position, I’m sixteen years old, what would you do?”
First, for those who have a look at the info, it’s seemingly that Florida’s surge of COVID circumstances will transfer to the Northeast and Midwest as the autumn arrives. So regardless of which a part of the nation you reside in, it’s seemingly that ultimately you will notice a delta variant an infection surge in some unspecified time in the future within the coming months. Right now, Florida and different components of the South are seeing the surge happen as a result of that is the time of the 12 months when folks within the South are inside essentially the most. Why? Because it’s highly regarded. As the temperatures reasonable by way of the autumn, folks go exterior way more and the general COVID charges have a tendency to say no.
But that’s a bigger image story. What about your particular scenario right here?
Your age elements in an enormous manner right here as a result of most 16-year-olds don’t get to make selections like this. So the primary query that must be requested right here is whether or not you will have the power to go to your cousin’s bar mitzvah or not? That is, do you get to make this alternative your self? If you can also make the selection your self and your mother and father would assist you to journey to Florida by yourself and also you’re good buddies along with your cousin and wish to be there, then I’d go.
As a 16-year-old, you’re beneath a larger threat of dying in a automobile accident than you’re from COVID. You’re additionally beneath a larger threat of dying from suicide, homicide, coronary heart illness, drowning, the seasonal flu and most cancers than you’re from COVID. All of those causes of dying are extra pronounced for folks your age than COVID is, for those who want some proof to supply to your mother and father.
If your mother and father mentioned, “I don’t want you to go to Florida, I’m afraid you’ll get murdered there,” nearly everybody would see that as an irrational concern. Yet the info displays that you just’re 2.5 occasions extra more likely to be murdered at your age than to die of COVID.
Risk — and hazard — is a unending a part of American life and, mercifully, COVID has had nearly zero impression on younger folks around the globe. You can’t escape all hazard in life — and also you wouldn’t wish to both as a result of for those who did, life could be extremely boring. You’d by no means go exterior.
So in case your mother and father will allow you to make the journey, I don’t suppose there’s any doubt in any respect, it’s best to go.
Good luck making the case to them.
…
Okay, I’m off to the radio studio for the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. We’ll have the governor of Tennessee, Bill Lee, and Tomi Lahren on at this time as friends.
Should be a enjoyable present.
Talk to you then.
And, as at all times, ship your nameless mailbag inquiries to claytravis@gmail.com, anonymity assured. (And please give us some enjoyable questions. We’re drowning within the severe proper now.)
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